The Three Most Important Questions You Can Ask Your Teenager

by Michael Mulligan
from The Huffington Post
12/2/14
Read the whole article here.

Here are some quotes from the article:

"We have raised a generation that is plagued with insecurity, anxiety and despair.

...this generation of highly accomplished, college-bound students have been robbed of their independence because they have been raised in a petri dish for one purpose only: to attend an elite college that ensures their and their families' economic and social status. Instead of being nurtured towards real curiosity and a genuine sense of citizenship, these millennials are conditioned to think that everything they do is for the purpose of looking good in the eyes of admissions officers and employers: you earn good grades not because they mean you are learning something, but rather because they will help you stand out from your peers when applying to the Ivies. You engage in community service not because you wish genuinely to make a positive difference in the lives of others but rather because that is how you burnish your resume -- service as check-off box. You play sports not because they build character and teamwork and are a whole lot of fun, but because you want to try to get recruited for a college team. You study art or music not because you wish to refine your understanding of human nature, creativity and culture but because it will help you look smarter.

Many college students who fall apart under pressure because they cannot conceive of the fact that hard work and learning are positive outcomes in and of themselves. They have no sense of who they are or what is important in their lives. They have spent so much time trying to look good that they do not know what "The Good" (consider Plato here) really is.

We have raised a generation of kids who are taught that appearance is more important than substance and that outcomes are more important than character. As a result, they inhabit empty vessels that lead them to a series of negative behaviors that results in, yes, unhappiness, which they try erase with empty sex, drugs, alcohol...

...stop asking What (What grade did you get? What team did you make?) 

and begin asking Who, Where, and How?

• Who tells us who we are?
• Where do we want to go with our lives?
• How do we want to get there?"

Read the whole article here.

Wanting the Best, or Needing to Be the Best?

I'm reprinting an article entitled,

Harvard, Schmarvard; Why Getting Your Kids Into College Should Be the Least of Your Concerns
by Michelle Rose Gilman
9/28/14
Huff Post Parents


"It's almost that time of year. I can feel it in the fall air and see it on the faces of parents and seniors everywhere. It's almost college application time and the race begins, as parents and kids vie for the chance to get into their first choice colleges.

For some parents, college acceptance approaches the culmination of every single parenting choice ever made. It can seem the ultimate goal, the ROI of parenthood, the final gold award and the epitome of a parenting job well done. It feels like the end game for every AP class, honors class, volunteer opportunity, and sports involvement that you required of your child. This college acceptance looms as the justification for the hours upon hours of helping with homework, rewriting their essays, doing most of their science fair projects since sixth grade, hiring the most expensive college counselor, and pushing, pushing, pushing your kids to get the A at any cost. "My child got into his first choice university" will be worn proudly and loudly as a testament to how well you have done as mom and dad.

I'm just being honest. I have been hacking into your lives for the past 25 years as a founder and head of school at a private school in California. If you are finding yourself already getting annoyed or a little angry with me, I ask you to hear me out. I was once where you are now, until my son decided on a much different path and forced me to rethink the whole process and what constituted my achievement as a parent. It was not college acceptance."

Read the rest HERE

Please feel free to leave a comment.

The College Gig and AP Classes

I recently discovered this new site that offers advice on finding the right fit for college.  It is called College Gig.  Check it out.

It is run by Lisa Olson who says,

"Getting into college is one task, but staying in college is an entirely different beast.  I am committed to educating families about balancing priorities and equipping students with the tools required to manage the complex transition out of the secure nest and into college life."

Her latest post is about how getting perfect grades is no longer good enough for aspiring college freshmen.  Check out her post here.

She references a current SF Chronicle article called "Stressful AP Courses - A Push for a Cap."

My own experience with AP classes is this:  I never took an AP class in high school, but I did take one AP English exam.  I didn't do well on it.  I'm not a good test taker.  I attended into two Big Ten schools - Indiana University and University of Michigan even without any APs in high school.

My oldest son has taken one AP class in high school.  He is currently taking it and seems to be getting a lot out of the class content.  Will he do well on the AP test?  It really doesn't matter to me.  I do see him enjoying the material and possibly getting interested in it as a future college major - Environmental Sciences.  If he walks out of this AP class with a better understanding of our environment and an interest in being kinder to our planet, I'll be thrilled, whether or not he continues with this in college.

I also see him doing a lot of homework for this class.  I'm not surprised.  AP classes are billed as classes in which students are expected to do more work.  My hope is that the work load won't squash his interest in the class.  It probably wont, because he isn't taking multiple demanding AP or honors classes.

When I served on our district's homework policy task force, we debated adding this line to the policy:

"AP, Honors, and Advanced courses are higher level classes and will require more extensive homework."

I did NOT want that line included in the policy.  I didn't get what I wanted.  I was outnumbered by others on the task force who thought it must be included.

But, I was happy with other lines from the policy, such as:


"Though communication within a high school setting is challenging due to larger numbers of students, staff, and course offerings, staff should make efforts whenever possible to be aware of homework, projects, and testing schedules across the curriculum...

Time spent on homework should be balanced with the importance of personal and family well-being, and the wide array of family obligations experienced in our society today...

Homework should be the result of collaborative efforts, thoughtfully considered, and coordinated to improve student learning...

Homework should be purposeful and meaningful to students...

Assigning homework over holidays is highly discouraged."

So, check out the College Gig, it's another good website that tries to balance real life with academics and offers good advice for students applying to college.

5-minute Advanced Placement class video

Check out this 5-minute video clip that was featured in the NYTimes Op Ed video library on January 25. "Op Ed: Advanced Pressure." I think every student who takes or considers taking an AP class should see this. I think every parent of every student who takes an AP class should see this. And, I think every AP teacher should see this, too.

My favorite quote in the video clip is from Dr. Deborah Stipek, Dean of the School of Education at Stanford:

“One of the original purposes of AP classes was to give students a jump start on taking college classes, and I think there was some belief that there were some students who were really ready to take college level courses. Unfortunately, it has turned into a kind of gate keeper to many universities. So now it’s not going deeper, really challenging yourself, it’s how many AP classes can I rack up so that I have more AP classes than the people I’m competing with? High school now has become preparation for the college application; not even for college, just the college application. And it creates a mentality that is expressed very well by my daughter who after her AP French test, said, ‘I never have to speak French again.’”

Add to that the insanity of GPA inflation. Imagine a world where the highest possible GPA was 4.0. Well, actually, I lived in that world when I went to college (20+ years ago) and getting into state universities was not nearly as difficult as it is now. Back then, only the brightest students took AP courses in high school and usually because they excelled in those subjects and had a real desire to learn more about them, not because their counselors, parents or friends suggested they take them to add weight to their GPA for college applications.

If you liked this video clip, check out the entire movie “Race to Nowhere.” The DVD will include extras like this clip. And, please feel free to pass along this video link to anyone.

Do you have any comments on AP classes, grade point inflation or college admissions?