Summer Homework Blues?

I recently received an email from an old friend, who now has middle school-aged children.

"Hi Kerry, I just had to touch base with you this morning because I was organizing my “favorites” on the computer and came across a bookmark for your blog. Your latest entry about what you learned with your kids was EXACTLY what I needed today. We have two kids ages 13 and 11. Academics comes easily for our older one, but the younger struggles. We have had tutors, screaming matches, etc. This summer my daughter has math homework as well as writing a report on books that she has read. She hates to read, which is such a shame because I feel she is missing out. We have been fighting all summer so far about her getting her work done.

I actually read the books she need to read and practically wrote one of the reports for her when hers was so awful. I feel horrible about it. After reading your blog, I have a renewed perspective! My husband has a healthier attitude about it—“it is their life, you have to let them live it”. I don’t know why stay-at-home mom’s feel so much pressure for their kids to “succeed” at everything. It truly is their life and they need their relationship with us far more than they need the academics. I know they will be fine because they are great human beings.

Thank you again for your words. They have really touched me today. My daughter will thank you too because you may have helped reduce the stress in our summer!"

What do you think about this? Do your kids have summer homework? How do you and they deal with it?

Do you think stay-at-home moms feel extra pressure for their kids to succeed at everything?

Summer Resolutions

I recently took a class called “Raising Well-Balanced Children in a Fast-Paced World” offered at Stanford by Denise Pope, Jim Lobdell, & Madeline Levine of the “Challenge Success” group. www.ChallengeSuccess.org At the end of the 5 weeks, participants were asked to come up with some resolutions for summer that were in line with their definitions of success and guiding principles established for their families as part of the course.

I decided that I should resolve to work more on my own art (I like to make cards) and music (I recently started taking piano lessons) to model having more art and music in my life for my kids and to maintain more balance in my life. Let’s see if I can stick to it…

I also decided not to schedule any activities for my kids (age 13 and 15) but to let them schedule their own activities this summer. If they find themselves bored, that’s ok, that’s part of summer.

Thankfully neither one of them has assigned summer homework, but I always try to encourage them to read for pleasure. When they were younger I used to come up with some sort of academic summer learning plan, but I’ve relaxed on that over the years. Why? Well, they hated it and would do it only to check it off their list (like most homework).

Instead I try to do equally important activities with them that we don’t often have enough time for during the school year: cooking, baking, riding bikes into town, mowing the lawn, gardening, playing games, backyard badminton, hanging out at the pool, exercising together, household chores, building things, etc.

Relax, have fun and enjoy your summer with your kids.